It took a lot for me to just walk up the stairs. All I needed to get was the counseling request paperwork that was available for me to pick up. The stigma I had around seeking help left me petrified though. The friend I had asked to be present with me to get the counseling paperwork provided me with some reassuring words. It only helped a little. We both knew it was after hours and no one was in the counseling center. I was still so nervous. I had to take some deep breaths before I gathered my courage to sprint up the steps and grab the packet.
After I had the paperwork in hand, it took me three weeks to fill it out. It took me two more weeks to turn it in.
My anxieties were what I was seeking help for in counseling. It about kept me from it too. I didn’t know what to expect from my first time in therapy. How could I open up to this stranger? Can they really be helpful to me when they don’t know me? What information did they need to help me best? What did I need to do outside of therapy to make it work? What would people think about me if they found out I was going?
All of these questions and fears swirled in my head and only compounded my anxiety to the point that I created a new anxiety. This new anxiety about what to expect from therapy only amplified what I was dealing with already. I continued to put a lot of expectations on my therapist and what meaningful change looked like for me.
Our expectations can dictate and keep us from experiencing the changes we need or want. Having expectations is not bad--they’re quite beneficial. Whatever expectations you are bringing with you, they are valid and can be further formed tempered with some important information about the process.
What You Should Expect From Therapy
There are tons of blogs on the internet that go over what you should or can expect from therapy. My fear kept me from seeking out these resources to help normalize and calm the anxious feelings I had built up. For those of you who are brave and seek out what to expect from therapy and found your way to this post, I see you. There’s something that you have that I didn’t.
The first thing that you should expect from working with any counselor is a safe environment. This safety is a prerequisite for feeling comfortable enough to be open and honest with your counselor. It also helps you be open and honest with yourself about the help you need. This includes your confidentiality! The safety that your information won’t go beyond your counselor is a crucial element of feeling safe with your counselor.
It is also important to know there are limits to confidentiality that your counselor will go over with you when you meet them the first time and at various points throughout your treatment. These limits of confidentiality are ultimately there for your safety.
The second thing you should come to expect is a counselor who empathizes with what you are going through. Empathy has this incredible power to let you know that you are not alone. Your counselors may not gone through the same things we have. However, they can still resonate with the emotion in your story and problem.
The third thing that you can expect from therapy is the therapist to invite you into new ways of participating with yourself and your environment. Your environment may include your problem situation or other people in your life. Counselors have a variety of ways they do this and you may experience varying approaches to how they facilitate the process. Being invited into new ways of being is a core part of counseling—you want to see a meaningful difference take place. Your counselor will work to understand your vision of that difference and work with you to enact it.
There are plenty of other elements that you can come to expect from your time in therapy. I think that these are three core expectations that are threaded through beneficial therapy that clients can find rest in to approach the process with greater ease.
What You Can Expect When Working With Me
Every counselor has a way of working that resonates with the way they understand the process of change. I think it is beneficial to share some of the ways that I see change take place and how I might invite my clients to create a meaningful difference for themselves. Here are a few things about the way I work that you can expect when meeting with me.
I believe that, for most of us, the ways we try to handle our problems keep us stuck. In my experience of seeking therapy, I tried handling my anxiety by pushing it off and pretending like I could resolve it by avoiding it. My avoidance kept me stuck and added five weeks before I started getting help! In my work with couples and families, I have seen a similar thing take place. Couples and families may employ a criticize/defend pattern that attempts to enact change in their relationships. This is one of many patterns that often preclude the opportunity for meaningful differences in a relationship.
Much of what keeps us stuck in our problems is that we aren’t being congruent with our inner world. Our felt experience is incredibly important and we sometimes work against these feelings to “act as if” we are better than we are. Denying these feelings has paralyzing effects on ourselves and the problems we encounter. Opening up to the wisdom of our inner world and the needs it has allows for the opportunity of meaningful growth and honoring our experiences.
I invite my clients to new ways of viewing their situation that honor their experience and resonate with their goals. Often what contributes to feeling stuck in the same pattern is seeing the same pattern. When we begin to see our situation in a different light we can begin to participate with it differently. When we participate differently, new options for behaving and thinking become available that can help us experience the changes we are seeking.
Follow Up With Me If You Have Questions
I hope that this information can bring your fears and anxieties meaningful peace. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and I don’t take it lightly. Wherever you seek counseling services, the unknown can keep you from showing up and feeling safe. Expanding your awareness of what you might encounter can help ease the nerves you might be experiencing.
When I began therapy, I felt my nerves begin to subside as I became more acquainted with the process and comfortable with my counselor. It took me some time to be transparent and open up. It turned out to be a helpful experience for me. I was able to show up with my felt experience in a more congruent way and give myself grace for what I was accomplishing.
If you have more questions about counseling and if it can be helpful for you, feel free to reach out to me and I can answer your questions.
Erich Campbell, MS, LAC, LAMFT
(479) 367-1110
Erich Campbell, MS, LAC, LAMFT received his Masters in Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling from Harding University of Searcy, AR. He is a licensed associate counselor and licensed associate marriage and family therapist in the state of Arkansas, USA. His clinical work centers on individuals, couples, and families with a wide range of presenting issues. Erich finds enjoyment in providing hypnotherapy to his clients as well. He runs his blog through his website erichcampbellcounseling.com
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